Could someone tell me how to fly？

這才猛然驚覺說謊可能是種上癮的行為，當我習慣如此的這個時候。或許那是種麻醉藥，可以保護自己，可以讓別人心安，亦或許那些都只是藉口...。

停損真的需要極大的勇氣，而現在的我...正等待著勇氣滿溢的那個時刻屆臨。當時糊裡糊塗地上了這班列車，背負著有形無形的期待與遠景，就這樣，被時間列車推向模糊不清的未來。後來的旅程，竟像連環扣般。縱使想逃離的念頭不曾離去，一切就這般自顧自地上演，急促到讓我找不到縫隙喘息。

如果可以不去在乎，那該有多好?

但那些卻都是真正在意、關心我的人。

I genuinely appreciate they did those things for me. But,they never know or care I am not the person they thought. I am not an aspiring person. As a matter of fact, I just want to live idle lives. Could someone tell me what I should do? I don't mean to hurt anyone,but actually I messed everything up.   

9 Crimes

Leave me out with the waste

This is not what I do

It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you dont shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
If I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?
Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

No...       

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgqOSCgc8xc&ob=av3e

9 Crimes       Damien Rice      

  (November 14, 2006)

The reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You  (repeat four times)

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4DiAyExN0&ob=av3e

Something's wrong?

職業倦怠？終於體會這個慘境:用盡一切力氣去掙得五斗米，又為了滿足心中空虛與補償心靈上的疲倦，將辛苦掙得的五斗米去買一些其實自己也不是那麼喜歡或在意的東西，然後為了苟延殘喘，又再度不甘願地折下腰。這是多麼悲哀的無盡循環!

今天好像什麼都不對勁！什麼人都看不順眼！一直想著，倘若那些人不是我在意的，為何要因為他們的行為而破壞自己的心情呢？我發誓懂得這個道理，但知易行難啊！

     

到底我想要的是什麼樣的生活呢？「試著想像一個值得過活的世界，然後問問自己，那樣的世界值不值得爭取。」現在的自己，少了前進的動力，怎樣都提不起興趣。其實有許多未完的工作，需要我打起精神去實踐。而我只想抓住時間，強迫它停下腳步。是否非得在夠深夠暗的深夜裡才能看見星光燦爛？「如果這世界還有星光熠熠，它們不在我的視野之內。」

Breath

「我曾經想要改變世界。現在我只希望活得下去。」今天，突然想起了藍調石牆T裡這段發人深省的話語。

     

曾經有過很大的抱負，想改變這個世界；曾經有過很美的夢想，想讓自己成為有貢獻的人。然而，現在的我...只想照顧好自己、只想活得下去!別人給予的、自己加諸之太多的期待壓的我幾乎面臨崩潰。這樣的我並不快樂，NOT AT ALL!

     

漸漸明白，自己是多麼平凡、多麼不完美。與其反抗自己的真實，我開始學著去接受這樣的事實。Yes,I am't a perpect person,so what？That's just who I am!既然看見失控的劇情，就將之當成意外的插曲，甚或是主旋律，冷眼旁觀這樣的一切，靜靜看著這樣的意外。Maybe that's the only thing I can do!

Just let's me go!

走在金風颯颯的擁擠街頭，突然升起不知為何而戰的感慨...。沒有停下腳步，是因為看不見退路？還是雙腿早已麻木？

   

「其實死亡很容易，困難的是繼續活著!」太多太多的人事物牽掛著搖搖欲墜的靈魂。倘若偶陣雨，偶而會天晴，但為什麼呢？我總看不見星光熠熠的朗空高掛。

    

以為自己已經準備好了，可以無所窒礙地面對這個不凡的人生旅程。當刻意拉開親情的距離，抗拒善意的關心，追尋獨自呼吸的空間得以安心蛻去灰色羽毛，以為這是短暫的過渡，但並非如此。

    

當無意飛越熟悉領空，模糊雙眼的視線渴望捕捉我的停留。I am so sorry to do that thing to you.I didn't mean to fail the person I loved.Let's me go!That's the only thing I  hope you do for me.One day,if it's exist.I can accept the fact,then I promise I will come back to go along with you finishing the life travel.